I wish I was a fish.

I wish I was a bigger fish worth catching.
I wish I was a bigger fish to take up more space in the sea.
And I wish I didn't care so much about the kind of fish I was,
because the fish I am I'm destined to be.

Butt...

And if I could swim
I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating
in the dark.
And if was blessed
I walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving
Sunken chest. - Say Anything

Can I just...

He's like the sun on my face, that kisses my skin and turns it brown.
The heat and humidity that turns me to rot and buries me back in the earth again, so that I can grow some kind of life.
The thumpthathadumpthathadump of my heart that reminds me I'm alive.
The red in my cheeks when I'm shy,
The sterness in my voice when I've got something to say and mean it.
The queeziness in my tummy when I know that theres something I've got to do.
The crunch of a fresh baguette.
The ease of a good song,
and the sweetness of every right word.

And I just...
brown like he's shining on me, and rot like he's heating me, and thump like he's my beating heart, and red cause he makes me shy, and want to mean what I say so much I... get queezy, and with every touch and sound and taste, I feel it.

In my skin and my muscles and my blood and my bones.
I feel his warmth seeping into me, and if I get to close I'll melt. So like the earth to the sun I'll admire his warmth far far away from an expanse of millions of miles, where he'll never feel or know that I'm shining back on him.

Big Fish, Little Fish.

We could talk if days weren't so fast - Ben Kweller

Do you think some people were made to take up space? To make everyone else feel less lonely, and maybe these people aren't necessarily meant to do anything but that one thing, prevent everyone else from being lonely. Lets call these people substitute people. The people that fall in love with other people easily, and fall out of it just as easily. Its never anything substantial, the word love itself means next to nothing.

I think I'm one of these people, not specifically in a bad way... I just think maybe that's what I am. I feel like I'm a stepping stone for everyone else's happiness, and you know it sounds like it should be a lonely life but I can't say I mind. Sure I like everyone else want to fall in love, but I've grown so accustomed to the idea that it just might not. I'm completely adjusted to the idea that I might have to daydream about it for the rest of my life, and be content just being a stepping stone. I'm happy that through being with me people can find someone else to make them happier and better suited for them.

But substitute people, my kind of people, we aren't meant to be loved forever. We're meant to be loved for a second. We're meant to be idealized and appreciated for a moment, then tossed back to sea. It's kind of like the little fish that you catch with your hook, but it's too small so you throw it back to sea. Thats what I am.
I'm a little fish.
Some might say I've just got some growing to do, but I disagree. I'm gonna be a little fish forever.
I just wish I was big enough for somebody sometimes, that's all.