God, can you hear me? It's me Ashley.

And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where i am
When I finally get it figured out
I've change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself - Modest Mouse


I'm just another face, just another pretty face. In a crowd of thousands, billions, trillions in the galaxy. Just another ball of energy riding through space in a body thats too small to hold all my worth, so some day I'll just leave. Because my body can't hold all that is kept within me. And maybe it was always meant this way. This body is the chain tying me to this world, and without it I could be so much more then... whatever the fuck.

Can you remember when you became conscious? I can't. When did you become aware, aware, aware? Aware that you're alive, and aware that someday you will die? I'm alive, at least I think I'm alive. And I think I'm aware that I'm alive. And I think someday I'll die. But what if I'm not? And what if I don't?

I can't think like this forever, but I want don't want to stop. I want to be here now, but time time is running out and I feel it. I wish I could go back. I wish it didn't have to be this way. I don't want to live forever, and I certainly don't want to die.

I am afraid of what's to come, because I don't know how it will.