How I get by

We found a new kinda dance in a magazine
Try it on, it's like nothin' you've ever seen
You sweet talk like a cop, an' you know it
You bought a new bag of pot
So let's make a new start
And that's the way to my heart to
Way to my heart
And that's the way we get by to
Way we get by - Spoon

I think a little piece of me falls in love with every person I meet. Or a piece of me falls for a piece of them. It's rarely that I am ever actually in love, in fact I don't think it has ever happened to my recollection. But I do know that when I think about what love is "supposed" to feel like. That need to do everything within your power to make someone happy, to me that's friendship. I've never known a relationship aside from the rare few that it works out for, my parents being one of them, where you meet one person who fufills just about every need. I think I need to fall in love with everyone a little bit, to find all the different little things I'm missing myself. And that's just how I get by. Because I know that there are certain characteristics I will never be or own or anything like that. So I have to find them in other people who are willing to share those little things with me.

Like faith for instance. I can almost promise that I will never ever be able to just believe in god, or the socially accepted version(s) of him. I don't think I'll ever have the strength to be abstinent from certain things that I know are bad. I don't think that I'll ever have the courage to take risks like just giving all of yourself to someone. Or be selfless enough to have a child of my own.

I don't think I'll ever be any of those things. I know I'm young but, even early on people are able to understand certain things about themselves. So I have to fall in love with everyone a little bit, because if I think too much about all the things I lack, then I've almost got nothing left. I have to be able to pretend that somehow the characteristics everyone I care about own, I in turn own too. It makes me feel more human.. or something.