[untitled]

We are in this battle, between ourselves and the universe. We want to believe that every deicision we make, good and bad, will somehow play some big role in the universe's end game, but what if it doesn't. What if we just all float around together on this giant rock for absolutely no reason, just to be eventually blown up by our star in like a gagillion billion years from now? Maybe I am conceited, and selfish. I feel like I have to exist for a reason beyond just existing and coexisting.

Its like we're all in a play, but to each one of us we're the main character. Like I am the lead in my own play. I am the brains behind it and the director, and my play happens to intersect with others plays but its plot is in no way defined by anyone elses. And outside of all these little plays there is a bigger play which inherently means that in a little minute way we are a part of this large play, but in no way are we any sort of major role.

Or maybe the universe only exists to be observed, right? And so that's our purpose, to observe the great everything. And without someone to observe the universe, what is it's purpose of existing? Maybe that's selfish, and maybe it's stupid and naive to believe that somehow all the bad things and bad people somehow have to exist and happen in order to play out in the larger scheme of things. But I can't just sit here and think that I have no purpose. That I was just flung into existence to exist and end.