I do not know. I am to focused on that. The idea that I don't know something, something that has to do with me. I still think about it. I can't help myself, I still want something specific, but I don't have the courage to say what.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'll screw it up. I can already tell, but I don't want to. I want to not screw this up, because I'm so damn good at screwing everything else up.
But I know it wont make me happy. I can already tell. It'll make me happy for now, and no matter what I do I'll keep thinking of that other thing. It's temporary happiness, and I don't want it to be like that.
I might not know what the hell I want, fine, but I sure as hell know what I DONT want. And that is not it.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm doing it again. That thing I love to do. Just question everything, or assume things and I probabily wouldn't be in this mess if I didn't do that all the time. I just can't keep my
damn
mouth
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