I've got a..

Dear You,
I am sorry. I think I got a little ahead of myself. Maybe I expected to much, and my expectations have been exceedingly ridiculous lately. I think I made you into something I know you're not. And I think it made me feel better pretending that you were. I don't expect you to know that this is for you, or to understand why I feel the need to apologize, just know on some level that I mean it and accept it.

I do this a lot. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but it feels like a lot. And it's got nothing to do with you, you did nothing wrong or different or anything, I just do this thing. I don't know how else to describe it, and I wouldn't want to be able to. Putting a name on something confines it to that thing, and that is something I refuse to do with my actions.

One thing I want you to understand is that despite everything I think or say or do, in some weird way I did mean it. And I did wish that I wasn't just getting ahead of myself, and a little gnawing in my gut says I still do. So here is my proposition, lets start over. I think we got off on the wrong foot, and that is totally my fault. I didn't allow you to be who you are, but tried to make you who I wanted you to be. And I, didn't allow myself be who I am because I got so distracted and concerned with who and what ever you are.

So even though you'll never know I said any of this, I hope in some way you'll feel the change and you'll know. Because I think knowing you could be great, and I think for you knowing me could be great. So lets just know each other and leave it at that.
And if knowing ever seems like not enough, we'll go from there, but until then I'd just like to worry about step 1.

Hi, I am Ashley. You are?